What a lovely weekend but its coming to an end. So many things are coming to an end this weekend. "My Baby" celebrated his 20th birthday. Adulthood. It sounds so simple. Childhood is completely abandoned; there is no more 'teen left. There is only that large undeniable 2 in the decade column. Granted, this is the offspring with Asperger's and ADHD still struggling to find a job and a place in life post-graduation last May and very unlikely to change his address anytime in the foreseeable future. The number 20 in connatation to birthdays still symbolizes much.
He is no longer a child, albeit my child til my last breath, he is now an adult. I am a woman of grown children. No more babies. No more children to raise. They're all grown. Starting their lives as adults. My role as guiding parent, sun to their planet is no longer valid. I am no longer their ultimate authority, their ultimate champion, the giver of all food, love, attention, direction....all those myriad jobs that parents simply do every waking moment.
As the parent of grown children, I find its more important to be a supportive role in their burgeoning life. Whatever it is they need now, I as their parent, will still try to provide. Support for their decisions, cheering squad to their successes, encouragement to get through those tough times. I can help with laundry, research on the 'net for that term paper, babysit the grandson at the last minute, and cheer at the rugby match.
My son' s life may not change simply because his age has reached a numerical value his abilities and maturity can't begin to match and my efforts to help him acheive a "normal, produtive life" continue unchanged. We still seek gainful employment, purpose to our days, meaningful relationships with others. Those goals remain unchanged from grade school for him, for my whole family. Mommy may now be Mom and Grammy, but she is still needed.......
Thursday, January 7, 2010
It's snowing here on Bittersweet Lane, as it is in much of the country. Not terribly deep or even treacherous but a lovely old-fashioned thorough dusting. Just enough that our rural school system cancelled classes leaving Mr. B home. As great luck would have it, Child 3 and 4 (Miss Belle and Mr Mike) and I all have the day off as well. We all slept in like bears then ate leisurely breakfasts. There's nothing cozier than sipping hot, fragrant coffee while watching the snow fall. The whole world seemed quiet and hushed by the blanket of snow. Mr. B put some lovely music on and we both indulged in coffee and novels for half the morning!
I had started reading Alice Hoffman's Skylight Confessions several days ago and finished it this morning -- mopping the tears from my face the whole time! I enjoy Ms. Hoffman's magical realism emmensely but find that some of her novels can get a little formulaic. This one was fresher, though darker, dealing with much darker emotions and family dynamics. Themes of depression, death, and family and oft asked question of what does family consist of are dealt with in her usual shimmering way--changing and evolving as the book progresses. Good, fun read and good cry. Now I think I smell Miss Belle's chocolate chip cookies coming out of the oven.